My pastor says that I am an enabler, making it possible for others to continue drawing off me and costing me money, which I can’t afford. Father, why am I being called an enabler, when I’m being chartable and helping others in time of need?
“There is a difference between enabling people, and being charitable to others. There are many people who have become dependent on getting from others. Many of the welfare systems and charities have become enablers, which has caused them to expect charity from others.
Many of these dependent people continually make bad choices in their lives, and seek others to bail them out. Others seek out, and latch on to others who tend to be enablers, and take advantage of their charity. There are different degrees of dependence, and many are unaware that they are this way.
Enablers are people with good intentions of helping others, but are often taken advantage of because they lack discernment, unaware and unable to perceive motives of needy people. They see the need, but overlook the reason why they are needy. Like the parabolic story of the ‘prodigal son’, he made bad choices and found himself living in the pig pen.
The son had to face the consequences, be humbled, repent, willing to start at the bottom as a servant, and change his ways, before the father could be charitable, and allow him back. Through the hardship the son learned the hard way, but its impact won’t be forgotten.
So also the enabler needs to learn from the father, who allowed his son to leave, in spite of sons bad choices, allowed him to fall, and not trying to bring him back nor help him, but patiently waited until he came to his senses, and came back on his own.
For someone who continues to make bad choices, It is better to leave them in the pigpen to suffer the consequences, and come to their senses. Through this I am teaching, disciplining, and even punishing them, in order to cause them to change their life.
Until they change their heart, and their life style, I will not bless them, for they are reaping what they have sown. When an enabler interferes with this process, which I am doing with them, it becomes a disservice to them and to Me.
There are many who are in hardships, who were not the cause, nor had they done anything wrong. To these people in need, your charity will reap a blessing. Before helping anyone in need, seek Me for wisdom to know who to help, and not to help.
In spite of need, avoid those who have a wrong motive or attitude as; expecting it, deserving it, a selfish or greedy attitude and the like. There are different degrees of dependence on others, and many are not even aware that they are like this. Be charitable but don’t be an enabler.